Ok so that title is a understatment what I meant to say was a BIG scare! On sunday afternoon I started spotting just brown spotting but that is exactly how my miscarriage began last time so needless to say I began freaking out! Of course I know that a little spotting can be common in early pregnancy and it doesn't mean anything bad is going to happen but everyone said that to me last time and that was not ok it was far from ok so in my mind this was the end. I decided not to dash off to the hospital on sunday I knew they wouldn't scan me there and then they never do especially not for spotting so I decided to call the early pregnancy unit Monday and try and get an appointment asap. Thankfully they got me in for Tuesday. By this time my brown spotting had turned to bright red blood it was like having a light period so I was distraught and sure that it was over! Richard as ever was trying to to be positive but I tried to warn him to not get his hopes up I know what that crash down to earth feels like when it's bad news so I wanted to be ready. I was so scared when we went to the scan and this time was different to the last they had the screen turned away from me so I couldn't see and the sonographer said she would tell me what she could see after she had a good look. I figured that they must be expecting bad news too. Due to my retroverted uterus they still couldn't find baby via a transabdominal scan so they had to do another internal scan I expected that so it was fine. After what seemed like forever the sonographer turned the screen towards me and said "there's your baby it has a strong heartbeat and everything looks fine!" I couldn't believe it I even asked if she was sure!! She pointed everything out to us it was amazing. I can't believe how much baby has grown in just 2 weeks. I cried from pure relief and shock! The sonographer laughed and said "oh im sure your going to have this one for the next 21 years!" I replied Oh I hope so! In my emotional state I forgot to ask for a picture! But the image is clear in my mind sadly I can't show you guys :( baby is measuring right on target and I will be 9 weeks tomorrow!!
After the scan we went to see the Dr. She explained that the bleed is a hormonal thing that should settle down by 14 weeks and to try not to worry if I get it now and again. However if it becomes heavy with clots and pain to go straight to the hospital. Will I worry if it happens again? Errmm YES!! But that's only natural I just have to try and accept it. Fingers crossed the spotting appears to have stopped now and I really hope that is the last of it I can't cope with the stress!! But im one week closer to that 12 week milestone and I hope I can make it!!
Wednesday, 15 June 2011
Sunday, 12 June 2011
8 Weeks and hellloooo hormones!
Im 8 weeks 3 days today and lets just say the hormones are really kicking in! I have felt pretty sick on and off for about 2 weeks now but last night and today were the worst! I actually threw up for the first time this pregnancy this morning (sorry TMI) and the way im feeling there's a whole lot more to come! I have to admit it's not nice it's never nice to feel lousy even if the reason for it is so good! BUT im not complaining at all these are the symptoms I begged for in my last pregnancy just to have peace of mind and well we all know how that turned out so every ounce of crap im feeling im also so very thankful for. Hopefully this means my baby is growing strong and i'll take whatever pregnancy has to throw at me for that! I've also had a few days this week were I just have to cry! Now im not a crier not really obviously I have my moments and this past year has seen more than a few of those but seriously im crying and I have no idea why this is just so funny to me that im even laughing whislt im crying because it's so crazy! So I guess those preggo hormones are really kicking in now and im loving it!!
Monday, 6 June 2011
There really is a baby in there!
Here is my little baby bean!
I never get bored at looking at this picture. I can't believe that this tiny baby is in my belly <3
So as you can see my first scan went great! I was so nervous when we got there I felt sick and was shaking i'd gotten so worked up for it I convinced myself it as going to be bad news. Unlike last time I had arrived at the hospital early but got called straight in for the scan so I didn't have the agonising wait. I was like a lamb to the slaughter walking into that room, not how you imagine your first scan to be but when you have walked the road ive walked you can't help but feel like that. The sonographer began by doing a transabdominal scan this time I could actually see the screen and as I could see it I couldn't help but frantically search the screen for baby but all there was were blurry black and white images I knew from that she wasn't going to see anything it was just taking too long. She then stopped and said she couldn't see anything as my bladder wasn't full enough and it is early into my pregnancy so she would need to do an internal scan instead. When she said that part of me panicked and knew that this was going to be the start of my bad news the other part of me was pleased that she was going to do the internal scan so at least if the outcome were the same as last time I would know they had a good look and were sure! She reassured me that we would get a clear picture of what was going on this way so that helped. As soon as she began the scan we could see baby! She pointed everything out we could see the little arm and leg buds and best of all that beautiful heartbeat! Sadly the picture isn't very clear but we could see everthing on the scan! I felt a rush of relief wash over me and then burst into tears happy tears im glad to say!! It was just amazing I could have watched it all day. Before I knew it the scan was over and I finally got to be one of those happy girls with my scan photo just like the ones i'd envied before.
After the scan we had to wait again to then see the nurse who will then explain the scan in more detail and what we need to do next. It was the same Nurse that delt with me and the miscarriage before I was pleased I really liked her. I didn't think she would remember me but she did! Straight away she said I've seen you before haven't I and I said yes I miscarried back in February but im back with another pregnancy! She was so happy and excited for us she said that everything looked great and that baby was measuring at 6 weeks 6 days. That is only 2 days off my own dates that I had roughly worked out I knew that my midwife was off by afew more days. She said not to worry about it being off by a couple of days as no one can pin point the exact moment of ovulation or the exact moment of conception and the baby is so small at this point it's hard to get an exact measurement the 12 week scan will be more accurate. Im totally happy with that! She was so nice she said to keep in touch and when the baby is born she will come over to maternity to see baby. I doubt that she will actually do that but it was so nice of her to say.
Today I got my appointment for my NT Scan at 12 weeks it's on July 12th. I didn't expect it come through so quick but im glad it did! I will almost be 13 weeks then so we should see a lot more. Obviously im nervous about it as happy as I am to know that so far everything is good the worry wort in me can't help but creep back in! Hopefully all will be fine and maybe then I can start to enjoy this pregnancy!
I never get bored at looking at this picture. I can't believe that this tiny baby is in my belly <3
So as you can see my first scan went great! I was so nervous when we got there I felt sick and was shaking i'd gotten so worked up for it I convinced myself it as going to be bad news. Unlike last time I had arrived at the hospital early but got called straight in for the scan so I didn't have the agonising wait. I was like a lamb to the slaughter walking into that room, not how you imagine your first scan to be but when you have walked the road ive walked you can't help but feel like that. The sonographer began by doing a transabdominal scan this time I could actually see the screen and as I could see it I couldn't help but frantically search the screen for baby but all there was were blurry black and white images I knew from that she wasn't going to see anything it was just taking too long. She then stopped and said she couldn't see anything as my bladder wasn't full enough and it is early into my pregnancy so she would need to do an internal scan instead. When she said that part of me panicked and knew that this was going to be the start of my bad news the other part of me was pleased that she was going to do the internal scan so at least if the outcome were the same as last time I would know they had a good look and were sure! She reassured me that we would get a clear picture of what was going on this way so that helped. As soon as she began the scan we could see baby! She pointed everything out we could see the little arm and leg buds and best of all that beautiful heartbeat! Sadly the picture isn't very clear but we could see everthing on the scan! I felt a rush of relief wash over me and then burst into tears happy tears im glad to say!! It was just amazing I could have watched it all day. Before I knew it the scan was over and I finally got to be one of those happy girls with my scan photo just like the ones i'd envied before.
After the scan we had to wait again to then see the nurse who will then explain the scan in more detail and what we need to do next. It was the same Nurse that delt with me and the miscarriage before I was pleased I really liked her. I didn't think she would remember me but she did! Straight away she said I've seen you before haven't I and I said yes I miscarried back in February but im back with another pregnancy! She was so happy and excited for us she said that everything looked great and that baby was measuring at 6 weeks 6 days. That is only 2 days off my own dates that I had roughly worked out I knew that my midwife was off by afew more days. She said not to worry about it being off by a couple of days as no one can pin point the exact moment of ovulation or the exact moment of conception and the baby is so small at this point it's hard to get an exact measurement the 12 week scan will be more accurate. Im totally happy with that! She was so nice she said to keep in touch and when the baby is born she will come over to maternity to see baby. I doubt that she will actually do that but it was so nice of her to say.
Today I got my appointment for my NT Scan at 12 weeks it's on July 12th. I didn't expect it come through so quick but im glad it did! I will almost be 13 weeks then so we should see a lot more. Obviously im nervous about it as happy as I am to know that so far everything is good the worry wort in me can't help but creep back in! Hopefully all will be fine and maybe then I can start to enjoy this pregnancy!
Friday, 27 May 2011
My Midwife
It was my first appointment with my Midwife today. I was pretty excited about it and nervous i've never had a Midwife appointment before they usually wait until 8 weeks to get in touch so I only spoke to her on the phone in my last pregnancy but with me being high risk now they rushed me through. I really like her I felt at ease with her which is great and instead of me having to beg for an early scan she insisted on it to put my mind at rest! So my scan appointment is set for June 1st at 10.50am. I feel sick with nerves when I think about it. My only experience with scans have been bad and im terrified im going to get the same result! I have to keep reminding myself that the Dr said 3 miscarriages in a row are rare so this one WILL be fine. The Midwife dated me at 6 weeks and 6 days which gives me a due date of January 15th which is MY BIRTHDAY!! I would love a birthday baby and can't help but think that this is a good sign!
As for symptoms I have definately felt more nasueous than I did in my last pregnancies I haven't been sick or anything and it comes in waves but im taking it as a good sign. As for anything else I feel pretty much the same as before sore bbs and a little bloat that comes and goes. I want for this to be my sticky bean so bad!!
As for symptoms I have definately felt more nasueous than I did in my last pregnancies I haven't been sick or anything and it comes in waves but im taking it as a good sign. As for anything else I feel pretty much the same as before sore bbs and a little bloat that comes and goes. I want for this to be my sticky bean so bad!!
Friday, 13 May 2011
First Appointment
Thursday I decided to make an appointment to see the Nurse Practicioner at my Drs Surgery to confirm my pregnancy. I wanted to make sure I was a few days late for AF after the chemical pregnancy last year it's the first thing I worry about when getting a BFP! So far so good I was 4 days late on Thursday and am now 6 days late so that's all good! I didn't want to wait to long either because I want this pregnancy to be logged so that if the worst does happen they cannot refuse to help me like they did last time! Im trying to be as positive as possible about this pregnancy this IS going to be our third time lucky, but I have to be realistic I know how easily things can go wrong and my only silver lining in that would be that we would at least get the referral we need.
I decided to see the Nurse as my Dr appears to be pretty useless! Im so glad I did she seemed pretty excited that I'd conceived so quick after my miscarriage and was so proactive I didn't have to ask for anything she just did it straight away! She got the Midwife to call me straight away so she could see me earlier than usual and will book me in for an early scan. We agreed that as im only 4 weeks along (almost 5 now) it would be best to wait until I am 6 weeks as they wouldn't see anything on a scan at this stage anyway. She will come to my home to see me and take all my history and then book the scan. I haven't got a date yet but I get the impression it will be around 7 weeks or so. She said if the scan didn't reveal too much they can do blood tests to see how my HCG levels are progressing. Im pretty happy with everything so far it's very early days but im glad that they are doing as much as the can for me. I have her number so can call her anytime. That's a lot more than I had last time, last time I was worried and felt so alone almost as if I was only just afew weeks pregnant what did it matter if I miscarried! At least I feel like they are doing all they can to help me now.
So far in this pregnancy I feel fine. I have sore bbs but I can totally live with that, I have had waves of nausea nothing bad just if im hungry I feel it then and bloating that comes and goes. That's pretty much it at the moment but it's early days. I had a tiny bit of spotting yesterday not what I wanted to see but im not too worried about it at the moment. It only happend once when I wiped and it was brown but it was such a small amount so I think it's ok. I haven't had any at all since. I read somewhere that Implantation bleeding can happen around 7-10 days after implantation so thinking about when I got my BFP im in the right time frame for that so im hoping that's all it was. If I get anymore over the weekend I'll call my Midwife on Monday but for now im not worried at all.
I decided to see the Nurse as my Dr appears to be pretty useless! Im so glad I did she seemed pretty excited that I'd conceived so quick after my miscarriage and was so proactive I didn't have to ask for anything she just did it straight away! She got the Midwife to call me straight away so she could see me earlier than usual and will book me in for an early scan. We agreed that as im only 4 weeks along (almost 5 now) it would be best to wait until I am 6 weeks as they wouldn't see anything on a scan at this stage anyway. She will come to my home to see me and take all my history and then book the scan. I haven't got a date yet but I get the impression it will be around 7 weeks or so. She said if the scan didn't reveal too much they can do blood tests to see how my HCG levels are progressing. Im pretty happy with everything so far it's very early days but im glad that they are doing as much as the can for me. I have her number so can call her anytime. That's a lot more than I had last time, last time I was worried and felt so alone almost as if I was only just afew weeks pregnant what did it matter if I miscarried! At least I feel like they are doing all they can to help me now.
So far in this pregnancy I feel fine. I have sore bbs but I can totally live with that, I have had waves of nausea nothing bad just if im hungry I feel it then and bloating that comes and goes. That's pretty much it at the moment but it's early days. I had a tiny bit of spotting yesterday not what I wanted to see but im not too worried about it at the moment. It only happend once when I wiped and it was brown but it was such a small amount so I think it's ok. I haven't had any at all since. I read somewhere that Implantation bleeding can happen around 7-10 days after implantation so thinking about when I got my BFP im in the right time frame for that so im hoping that's all it was. If I get anymore over the weekend I'll call my Midwife on Monday but for now im not worried at all.
Sunday, 8 May 2011
Third Time Lucky?
I HOPE SO!!!!!
Looks like those evaps weren't evaps afterall! I was even thinking I may have had bad batch of tests especially after I had a BFN on a FRER on Thursday. So I waited afew days and got another FRER and a Digi just to be sure I totally didn't expect to see that!! Im so so so happy! Please pray that this is our sticky bean!
Looks like those evaps weren't evaps afterall! I was even thinking I may have had bad batch of tests especially after I had a BFN on a FRER on Thursday. So I waited afew days and got another FRER and a Digi just to be sure I totally didn't expect to see that!! Im so so so happy! Please pray that this is our sticky bean!
Friday, 6 May 2011
Feeling Good
The last couple of weeks i've been feeling better than I have in a long time! I've been keeping pretty busy so that helps but im feel emotionally much stronger too. This week I would have been 20 weeks pregnant, 20 WEEKS!! Obviously I would rather be posting about my progress with that and about my gender scan but I can't do that. Im ok though im moving forward and I haven't cried for a few weeks. All the milestones are hard but it's nice to be smiling and not crying im sure I will have my moments but for now im happy to be feeling good for a change!
In my cycle I think im 10 or 11dpo. As im not charting it's hard to know exactly where I am but based on when my ewcm dried up and my post O symptoms that's where I think im at. I thought I would really miss charting as I had gotten so used to it but I quite like not doing it now. I do miss not being 100% sure of where I am in my cycle though. Im thinking next cycle I may use OPKs and maybe give my Clear Blue Fertility Monitor a try.
Yesterday I caved and tested, I know way too early but the POAS addict came out in me and I just had to do it! I wish I hadn't because I got a PINK evap line that for a second got me excited that I was actually pregnant! In my excitement I used my last FRER and another IC both were BFN and this mornings test is BFN too with what looks like a grey evap line! I hate EVAPS!! So it looks like it was just a faulty test and no BFP for me just yet. I guess we will see what the weekend brings.
In my cycle I think im 10 or 11dpo. As im not charting it's hard to know exactly where I am but based on when my ewcm dried up and my post O symptoms that's where I think im at. I thought I would really miss charting as I had gotten so used to it but I quite like not doing it now. I do miss not being 100% sure of where I am in my cycle though. Im thinking next cycle I may use OPKs and maybe give my Clear Blue Fertility Monitor a try.
Yesterday I caved and tested, I know way too early but the POAS addict came out in me and I just had to do it! I wish I hadn't because I got a PINK evap line that for a second got me excited that I was actually pregnant! In my excitement I used my last FRER and another IC both were BFN and this mornings test is BFN too with what looks like a grey evap line! I hate EVAPS!! So it looks like it was just a faulty test and no BFP for me just yet. I guess we will see what the weekend brings.
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