Birth Story

Grace is asleep! Not sure for how long but im going to take this opportunity to write Grace's birth story.

As you know I had a planned C-Section something that I had mixed feelings about.  Like most women I wanted to experience labour it's all part of becoming a mom but due to various complications it was decided that a planned section would be the safer option.  I wasn't against a c-section especially as I knew it was the safer option but a little disappointed that I wouldn't get to experience labour.  Looking back on the whole experience I now know that it was most definitely the right decision for me and I had an amazing experience I wouldn't hesitate to have a c-section again if the need came.

So Grace's birthday the 12/01/12 began very early as I had to be at the hospital for 7.30am.  We were told to go wait in a waiting room with the other ladies that were having c-sections that day.  It felt so strange knowing we were all going to become mothers in just a few hours.  The Dr came round and filled us in on the procedure and then we were all taken up to the ward to wait for surgery.  When we got up there we were told where we were on the list as usual I was last LOL! I say that because whenever I have surgery I always end up being last on the list!  I didn't really mind even though the waiting took forever but it gave me longer to savour my last day of being pregnant, yes I was tired and uncomfortable but I always cherished my bump and feeling Grace move and even though I couldn't wait to hold her I also felt sad to let go of the pregnancy I couldn't believe it had come to end.

So after a LONG day of waiting the theatre nurse finally came and told me to get my gown on and passed Richard some scrubs to wear this was an exciting moment and we took the opportunity to have some fun and take pictures posting them to facebook for laughs lol.  Then after more waiting they took us down to theatre.  I had been so nervous about the section I have had many operations but haven't been awake for any of them and the thought of being awake for this terrified me what if the epidural didn't work? What if I felt pain? Silly I know but you can't help but worry of course I didn't want to miss the birth but still major surgery whilst still awake is a scary thought!  Obviously I soon learnt that I had nothing to worry about!  They began by administering the epidural another thing I was nervous about but I didn't need to be I didn't feel a thing! They give you a local anesthetic first so you don't actually feel the epidural and it worked pretty much straight away.  First my legs went all warm and a little tingly then they felt heavy and then nothing.  To make sure the epidural was working they used a cold spray which they sprayed on my arm first so that I knew what it felt like then they spayed my belly several times until I couldn't feel the spray at all then as a final test they put something really sharp on my belly and asked if I could feel it I couldn't so they began.  It was strange because for a little while I wasn't sure if they had even started even though they were well on there way!  The most I could feel of the surgery was a gentle pulling sensation similar to how it felt when Grace was moving around inside me it wasn't uncomfortable at all.  It amazed me how quick it was from the start of the op to the moment Grace was born I heard the Dr say we have one leg here's the other and here is baby! At that moment I could hear Grace crying the most wonderful moment of my life. I knew the moment she was born because I felt it, that sounds strange I know but there was this intense pressure that I felt all over and then she was born! I'm grateful for that sensation it was wonderful to feel something the moment she was born.  They told me she was a girl which I already knew but it was so exciting to hear it and the Dr said she came out bum first so she was breech,  I'm grateful that she wasn't transverse which she had been for most of the day!   They then took her off to be cleaned and weighed etc.  She was 6lbs 6ozs and just perfect!  Richard went to take some pictures and I watched as they cleaned her and got her dressed.  It was such a special moment when they handed her to Richard and I got to see her little face for the first time.  I wanted to have skin to skin contact but due to one of the side effects from the drugs I was unable to but I didn't mind I was just in awe of everything.  Unfortunately one of the side effects was shivering that's putting it mildly though as I would describe it more like uncontrollable shaking! That was the only thing I didn't like as it was pretty uncomfortable and made holding Grace difficult but it only lasted for about an hour or so then it passed.

My birth experience was a wonderful one and both Grace and I received the best care.  I often relive the day over in my mind and still can't quite believe that she's here!  I hope I have remembered everything if not i'm sure I will fill in the gaps at some point.  I don't regret having a C-Section at all and Grace's birthday is most definitely the best day of my life so far!

Grace I Made A Wish...

And you came true! Sorry it has taken me so long to update but I have been mega busy being a mom! It feels so good to say that!  My little girl is FINALLY here and as you may have guessed from the title we named her Grace.  We had a long list of names we really liked but we wanted to see her before we decided.  I think deep down I always knew she would be Grace I've loved the named since forever and it also has a special meaning for me there just couldn't be a better name for her.  Her full name is Grace Ann it is so special because of a memory I have from the miscarriage I had last year I was unconsolaable the night I lost our angel and the nurse that took care of me said "by the grace of God you will get there" that may not mean much to some but it always stuck in my mind and well she was right my little girl is my grace we finally got there and have her in our arms it's the perfect name for her! Ann is my mothers middle name and my mom is amazing so another perfect name for her :o).  She is beautiful and I love her so much!  I will post again with a picture of my little beauty and my birth story when I have more time but I just wanted to update and say that Grace has arrived safely and we are both doing great! :o)

Things I Will Miss

So Im one week away from having a baby! ONE WEEK!!! Still can't get my head around that. This has me thinking about all the things i'll miss about being pregnant.  Getting pregnant and staying pregnant has been the goal for so long that it's hard to think of anything else and even though holding my baby in my arms is what i've waited for so long I do feel a little sad about not being pregnant anymore, I even got tempted to POAS the other day just to see those 2 pink lines that I waited so long to see just incase I never get to see them again but that would just be silly wouldn't it lol!  So what will I miss?
THE BUMP! Even though at this stage it can be very uncomfortable I really will miss my long awaited bump.  It's nice to have a huge belly that sticks out and not feel embarrassed but proud for a change. I've enjoyed wearing maternity clothes and have really embraced it.  I love how people even random people will stop you in the streeet and ask when you're due and rub my tummy that did take some getting used to but i'll miss it.
MOVEMENT - Yet another feeling that i've waited a long time for when I first knew I was pregnant it felt like such a long time to wait to feel those first few kicks and I was so desperate to know what it felt like. My friends had described it to me but it is hard to imagine.  It was like little tiny flutters at first that could easily be mistaken as wind lol! I now know that I felt movement pretty early on at 14 weeks but I wasn't sure if that was what I was feeling until about 17 weeks then I knew.  I loved feeling those flutters turn into taps and kicks and now they are real jabs and rolls yes sometimes it gets very uncomfortable especially when you have feet in your ribs or her new favourite position transverse and high OUCHIE! But this is a miracle that i can feel moving inside me and I love it!  I can't imagine not feeling it now.
SCANS - Sounds a silly one and who needs scans when you have a baby in your arms but I was in awe of them seeing this tiny baby growing inside me was just wonderful.
HAIR - Now this seems like a strange one and so not important but all these hormones have worked wonders for my hair I've loved having thick shiny hair lol! Im thinking my hormones are definitley changing now ready for the birth because my hair is starting to look more like how it does before AF is about to show up blah.  Oh well never mind i'll take my old hair back in exchange for my baby anyday!
There really is so much that i'll miss probably way more than i've listed here these are just afew but pregnancy has certainly been an experience I will never forget.  It has not been the easiest of pregnancies but it has been wonderful and amazing at the same time.  It's the grand finale next Thursday and im so excited and anxious to meet my precious little miracle!!

What A Difference A Year Makes

I was reading through my blog from the beginning the other day.  I have read it all once or twice but there are some parts I find a little difficult to read mainly because a lot of the emotions are still very raw for me but at the same time it reminds me of the journey we have been on and it makes me feel so thankful to be where I am now.  One of my first posts was titled Sad on Christmas Eve I remember writing that and how I felt at the time I also remember feeling much better for having written it and putting those feelings out there sort of like a release for me this blog in some ways has been a emotional crutch to get me through some of the hard times and im thankful for that, having said that I never really saw myself as a blogger im kinda lazy when it comes to things like this and don't tend to bother I think it shows the times I need to blog the most as oppose to the times when i've not needed to so much the blog posts are definately further apart!  But I did start this blog for other reasons not just an emotional vent I want to document my experiences of pregnancy and soon to be motherhood so I want to try and keep as up to date as I can. 

Im happy to say that a year on from writing that post im so much happier and only 2 weeks away from becoming a mother!  It has been a bitter sweet year that began at one of the most lowest points of my life but now we are about to begin 2012 with a bang and the birth of our little miracle I can hardly believe it! I don't forget what it took for us to get here though or that there are so many out there still praying for their miracle.  I hope that it can happen for them too it is truly the most amazing blessing.

We Have A Date!

I had an appointment with a physio yesterday and my OB this morning.  The Physio found that I have Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) and a slightly twisted right hip this explains all the pain I have been experiencing.  She said if i'd had an earlier appointment a few weeks ago they may have been able to do more to help but at this late stage all they could really do is help manage the pain with some gentle exercises and a support belt and to make sure I get plenty of rest.  She pointed out the best positions for me to give birth in would be on all fours or standing leaning over the bed these are both extremely difficult for me to do so this did pose a problem.  Luckily I had my appointment with my OB this morning so we could discuss a plan of action for the birth and with all things considered we decided that a planned C-Section would be the safest option.  I have to admit the thought of a C-Section terrifies me I guess it's the fear of the unknown more than anything and the recovery afterwards I want to feel as well as possible so that I can take care of my baby I know that I'm not going to feel great after surgery I just have to hope that I recover quickly.  Overall though I'm ok with it being a C-Section delivery I feel confident that it is the right decision and if more damage is done to my hips during the birth then that would result in months of recovery rather than a few weeks so i'd rather take that option.

So when is the big day? It will be on 12/1/12!! How exciting I can hardly believe that will be my baby's Birthday the day I become a Mother! It's such a wonderful , exciting and terrifying feeling but I guess I am as ready as I'm ever going to be!

Third Trimester

Sorry it has taken so long for me to update i've either been super busy, sick or just plain exhausted!  I have learnt that baking a baby is HARD lol! Don't get me wrong it is wonderful and amazing but exhausting at the same time.  Im well into my third tri now I will be 35 weeks on Thursday I still can't believe im even pregnant never mind 5 weeks away from having a baby!!  I have found the last few weeks very tiring im in a lot of pain with my hips which is making day to day activities difficult which is inconvieniant as I have so much to do! Thank God for husbands is all I can say lol! I have an appointment with an Obstetric Physio this afternoon to see what's going on with my hips. My midwife thinks i may have a trapped nerve and have hip displacement! I was like whaaaat?! Honestly im not sure if that is what it is im thinking my body is just struggling to cope with the extra weight and it's taking it's toll whatever it is im just hoping they can help with the pain so i can get around a little easier.  If not I guess i'll just have to put my feet up and relax oh well LOL!  Too be honest i can't complain I think I have done well to get this far I knew the last tri would be difficult on my mobility.

Baby girl is so strong now I love feeling her move and I finally know what everyone talks about when they say "oh wait until you feel her feet in your ribs"  ummmm yeah I get what thats like now pretty uncomfortable but I still love it!  Im pretty sure I have a lazy baby though I do feel movement but not that much. I was a little concerned but my midwife said as long as i feel 10 movements in a day that's fine and i do get that so im thinking she's just sleepy! Of course im sure she's just conserving her energy so that she can keep us mega busy when she arrives LOL!

We are still struggling with names we have a list of names we like and im sure she will be one of them but which one I have no idea!!! We have decided to wait till she is here and see what she looks like! I wish she would just come out with a name badge I find it so hard to commit to a name LOL.

Her nursery furniture arrived last week along with her pram and carseat etc. I LOVE it and im so in love with the nursery theme the colours are perfect.  It feels strange all of her things being here but in a good way.  I can't wait for her to be here and can't believe that day is nearly here!  It's a mixture of emotions im so happy and excited and yet terrified at the same time i've wanted this more than i've ever wanted anything in my whole life being a mom is everything to me and yet im starting to panic and think what if I don't live up to the mark what if this what if that?? I have to keep having a reality check and reminding myself that everyone feels like this but wow im going to be a mom in just a few weeks and it's the most exciting and scary thing ever to happen to me!

It's a........

GIRL!!!!! We had our 4d scan on Saturday and we finally got gender confirmation! We are so excited looks like the Dr was right on her assumption afterall and maybe I really do have a little bit of that mamas intuintion I keep hearing about! I have had this gut feeling that we were having a girl from day one but as most of my friends had recently had girls also I couldn't help but think that was why I thought I was having a girl and I also thought that I was so sure it was a girl that it would be a boy im never usually right on this kind of thing haha. I love that my gut feeling was right it makes me feel so connected to her if that makes sense?!  We couldn't be happier it feels so good to finally know what we are having and needless to say we went out and bought her a whole wardrobe of pretty girlie clothes the same day, that was FUN!!!  Of course now im a little nervous that they may have made a mistake and we will have a very PINK boy LOL!

The scan itself was AMAZING! It was one of the most wonderful days I have had in this pregnancy it hasn't been an easy road with lots of bumps and plenty of worries along the way but Saturday was just wonderful! I can't describe the feeling I had the moment we got to see our little girls face I love her so much already I can't wait to hold her in my arms!  The sonographer did a growth report and so far she is right on target and at 28 weeks and 2 days her estimated weight was 2lbs and 11ozs.  We got lots of pictures and a dvd of the whole thing I watched the dvd probably 10 times already LOL im sure it's very boring to everyone else but to us that's our tiny miracle and I can't get enough of it!

In other news the nausea is back with a vegence ugh :( as is the crazy preggo hunger (not sure if that ever went) not a great combo to be hungry and sick at the same time!  Im also pretty exhausted but this is all so worth it and I couldn't be happier than I am right now! :o)