A Sad Week

This last week has been a sad week for me and so many others.  It began by being sad for me as September 19th was the due date for my Angel.  I wasn't sure how I would feel we are in a happy place now and that does help but it doesn't mean that we foget the little ones we lost before.  I was pretty emotional that day and cried about losing my little one for the first time in ages.  I think of them often but the tears don't come so often now it helps that we have this little one on the way it gives us a reason to move forward.  I don't want to forget I never will we have loved our baby since before we were expecting them and we love all our little ones regardless of wether they are here with us or waiting for us in heaven.  This due date was easier than the last I had just miscarried for the second time and I can't even describe the pain I felt that day I never want to feel that way again.

This last week has been sad for another reason too one of the girls in our DDC (due date club) just lost her sweet baby.  She was due only 2 days before me I can't imagine how she must be feeling now and my heart goes out to her and her family.  This and remembering my lost Angels really brings it home just how incredibly lucky and blessed we are to be expecting this little miracle and to never stop giving thanks for what we have been blessed with.  Just when you begin to feel "safe" and believe me that was a big step to feel "safe" in a pregnancy I suddenly realise there is no such thing! Anything can happen at any time and we must never take that for granted. Sweet Baby J we love you so very much and I enjoy every moment I feel you and all the good and not so good things about being pregnant I enjoy every moment because I know just how blessed we are to have you.  So im calling out to anyone whose reading this to go hug your children tell them how much you love them and enjoy every moment of pregnancy the good and the not so great parts (we all know what they are)! Because it's worth it all to be blessed with a miracle.

Halfway there!

It's about time I updated! Im happy to say that so far my second trimester has been pretty uneventful (in a good way) and im happy to keep things like that lol!  Overall im feeling much better only feeling sick if im hungry and sometimes at night but I can totally deal with that.  I still get pretty tired but then i've always felt tired even before pregnancy im just like that I guess so nothing new there haha.  I feel movements from my not so little baby bean daily and I love it although it's still so hard to connect that those movements are coming from a baby im not sure i'll ever believe it until Baby J arrives!!

I had my 20 week scan on Wednesday I was exactly 20 weeks and 6 days it felt like an eternity waiting for that day to come! I was so nervous and yet so excited at the same time! I had a detailed scan that was done by 2 Drs they were looking for signs of Arthrogryposis and any other problems that may be visable on a scan I was pretty nervous about the results but im happy to say that Baby J is growing well and is healthy! The Dr even used words like beautiful and perfect needless to say this was music to my ears!!  I LOVE my OB by the way she is awesome! Im usually pretty nervous around Drs but she makes me feel so at ease im so glad that she is my Dr through this journey!  After they had calmed my nerves and explained that everything is looking good I began to relax and really enjoy the scan I had a whole 30 minutes of watching my baby do everything from sleep to somersault it was amazing! Baby even gave us a little wave soooo cute!

Now for the BIG question are we on team BLUE or PINK??? Well we honestly don't know for sure! I was so excited to find out I just knew baby would be shy on the day!! Both Drs tried really hard to get a good view and based on what they saw they both agreed on a little GIRL! But didn't want to give a definite answer as the view wasn't clear little one just wasn't in the mood to flash lol!  Either way it doesn't matter to us boy or girl we love them so much already!! I have a 4d scan booked for Oct 29th so we are hoping for gender confirmation then the waiting is soooo hard!  I may end up being team green without meaning to be haha.  At least we will know for sure in January!! 

I do have a new scan picture to upload but I haven't scanned it in yet I will do that soon and I have a very obvious bump now YAY! So I will post pics next time! :)

The Best Sound In The World

That would be my baby's heartbeat!  I went to my Midwife appointment on Thursday it was pretty quick and simple just a case of checking blood pressure, urine, weight (ive only gained 1lb!) as im already a tad overweight im quite happy to not have gained too much just yet and I read that weight gain by 17 weeks can range from 5lbs - 10lbs so im more than happy with that!  My urine and blood pressure were also fine so thats great.  The best part of my appointment was getting to hear baby's heartbeat! I was excited but nervous about it you know me always the worry wort and the midwife explained that at this stage it's not always easy to find but she should get it.  She only needed to poke around for a few seconds and there it was! I could have listened to that all day.  The doppler was also picking up other taps and she said that was baby kicking it was doing somersaults in there :)

Im now 17 weeks and 3 days I can't believe im almost halfway! Im doing just fine and overall feeling much better! Im pretty sure the sensations i've been getting are baby moving and this week ive been feeling it so much! I just love that feeling and it's nice to have some reassurance that baby is ok!  We have started to buy bits and pieces and I think we have decided on the pram we want we just want to get past my 20 week scan before we start purchasing the big stuff Im loving shopping for baby it's way more fun than shopping for myself!! I just can't wait to know if we are team blue or pink now so I can start buying little outfits! The wait is killing me!!!

16 Weeks

Time for a quick update! I have been a bad blogger lately I need to try and get up to date.  So im 16 weeks now well I'll be 17 weeks tomorrow!  I have been feeling much better the last couple of weeks im not sick every morning now although I am still sick now and then and I don't feel sick 24/7 just waves of sickness so I think im definately coming through that phase now phew!  This is the first week that people have started to notice my little bump this makes me so happy :) I love that im actually starting to look pregnant now I have wanted this for so long and I just love people rubbing my tummy! I know I sound crazy but im so proud of my little bump.  I posted a pic on FB which was fun I will have to post it on here too.  I have my 16 week check up with the midwife tomorrow it should have been last week but I couldn't get an appointment so im a week late.  Im excited about it I love my appointments to do with baby.

Im not sure but I think that I may have felt baby move a few times but it's so hard to tell! It feels like gentle tapping from the inside a bit like little bubbles popping although I think the first description is more accurate to what I feel.  Maybe it's just gas LOL it's so hard to tell but I really hope it's baby!

Meet Baby J!

Sorry it has taken me so long to update im pretty lazy at scanning and uploading photos but finally here is my latest scan photo of our precious little bean! We have taken to calling him/her Baby J until we know the gender and have a name!

We are so in love <3 it's amazing how much baby has grown in a few weeks!  The scan was amazing of course I was nervous but I got called in straight away so it helped not to have an agonising wait! I was still kind of worried that they wouldn't find baby straight away with my retroverted uterus which only would have added to my anxiety but looks like everything has popped right into place now and baby appeared on the screen straight away!  The sonographer showed us it's hands and feet the heartbeat and even it's little bum! I just can't believe this little baby is in my belly!

After the scan I saw the midwife and then the Consultant. So far im really pleased with how the hospital are looking after me they haven't left anything to chance and covering all the bases so im pretty happy with that.  They arranged for me to see a Geneticist to discuss the chances of baby having AMC and I had bloods taken for testing im still awaiting the results of those they said it could take up to 6 weeks.  Not that it will make any difference to us at all!  Im going to have a detailed anatomy scan on September 9th to screen for AMC then and extra scans to monitor baby's movements.  Im also going to see an Anethetist in September to discuss my options of Epidural and if it will be possible for them to administer it I don't think it will be an issue but they want to make sure.  It looks like I may also get to have a natural birth at least that is the aim for now im pretty excited about this I know that seems crazy but for years I was told I wouldn't and now there is a chance but im ok with having a c-section if that's what it takes for baby to have a safe arrival.

OMG this is really happening im having a baby!!! Is it January yet? LOL!

12 Weeks!

I can't believe I have made it to 12 weeks it seemed like a goal I was never going to reach especially with all the little bumps in the road we have had to get here! I really do want to savour this moment im 12 weeks and STILL pregnant I feel so blessed. Im still being sick every morning and feel sick most days although from 11 weeks I have noticed that not every day is so bad so im hoping that im coming through that stage.  Im so ready for the nice parts of pregnancy the bump, feeling baby move and finding out the gender. These are stages that seemed so far away like i'd never ever get there but now I feel so close! I have my NT scan on Tuesday im so nervous for it I've seen baby with a strong heartbeat twice now but I can't help but worry about bad news on the day im praying so hard my little baby is still growing strong and I can breathe a sigh of relief and maybe start to enjoy this pregnancy all the worry sometimes overshadows how incredibly happy I am I guess it's just a self preservation thing to hold back a little.

We went away for a few days this week we went to Center Parcs with my family.  We had a wonderful time and it was a much needed break although as ever nothing can go without a little drama typical! On Tuesday night I had a fall and fell flat on my face! It would have been hilarious if I weren't pregnant and as I landed on my stomach even though my knees and arms broke the fall I couldn't help but worry.  I wasn't in any pain and hadn't had any bleeding, none that was connected to the fall only the usual spotting I get now and again. So I decided not to rush off to a Nottingham hospital and spend the night there instead I thought I would contact my midwife in the morning and ask for advice on what I should do.  She was really helpful she contacted the hospital and spoke to the Dr for me and they said that as my stomach didn't take the impact baby is well protected and should be ok but as im Rhesus negative and 12 weeks pregnant I should go to the hospital for an Anti D injection just to be safe it needed to be within 72 hours of the fall so we had to leave Center Parcs a day early.  Im just glad to know I did everything I could and that baby should be ok.  I just need to get to Tuesday to see baby again to get the reassurance I need.

10 Weeks

Im 10 weeks and 3 days pregnant.  This is a little milestone for me! I was a day shy of 10 weeks when I miscarried last time so needless to say it has been on my mind a lot this week but im happy to say I have made it beyond that point and it feels good.  As for how im feeling well i'd say very pregnant! I am sick every morning and feel sick all day and all night not fun but I'll take it if it means my baby is growing strong! Im off foods I normally love like beef burgers I have no idea why but the very thought of them makes me want to throw up! Mind you it wont do me any harm to lay off those anyway! I also usually love a cup of tea with sugar in now it just makes me sick I have to take it without the sugar or not at all which again is not a bad thing.  I have noticed that im addicted to orange juice I love it and can't get enough of it ooh and anything cold like tip tops so with my love of orange juice and tip tops im pretty sure this baby is going to arrive looking like a crayola crayon haha. One symptom I haven't noticed is the heightened sense of smell im pretty sure that's still the same. 

There's no real sign of a bump yet but it is still pretty early my mom said she didn't really start showing with me or my brother until 16 weeks so im thinking i'll be the same although it seems crazy to think I could have a little bump in just 6 weeks im so excited about it!

As for the spotting it still comes and goes it does unnerve me a little i'd be much happier if it wasn't there but the Dr did say that it is likely that it may come and go until my hormones settle at around 14 weeks so as long as it doesn't get any worse I just need to accept it as normal for me.  I am doing much better with it now though before I would see it and just freak out but now I expect to see it and if I don't then that's a bonus! I haven't had it for a few days now so that's great I had a busy day yesterday so I told myself to expect it by the evening all the activity was bound to start it off but all I had was 2 spots that's it so im more than happy with that!  It's 2 weeks on Tuesday till my NT scan im so nervous but when we get the all clear from that we can finally tell the world we are having a baby and im so excited for that!