Now I know my TTC friends will all know just how frustrating it is to hear people say "just relax". It always seems to be the advice of those who have 'oops' babies or were only ttc for a very short time. They have never known what it feels like to feel that heart sinking disappointment month after month or when you finally get there to have it so cruelly taken away from you by miscarriage. They don't know what it's like to feel like a mother without a child. Not that i would ever wish any of this on anyone but it can be so frustrating when the only advice they have to offer is "just relax" I'd rather they didn't offer any! But now and again there will be a story of couples that have struggled with infertility for years have had several failed IVF attempts and finally decide to accept that maybe they will never have a child of there own or have a ttc break and then BAM they're pregnant!! Could that be that they "just relaxed?" Im not sure maybe it was just their time but it makes me wonder maybe just maybe...
To be honest i've never understood why people assume that im stressed out about TTC when they learn that we are trying it's the first thing they say "oh just relax it will happen" why do they think im not already relaxed? So i've used OPKs and Charting to try and maximise our chances but that doesn't make it stressful if anything it makes it easier. I don't Ovulate on the same day each month every month is different so it makes sense to know when it's coming in some ways the not knowing would be more stressful for me. I have never found TTC stressful, yes i've felt disappointment when AF shows up and yes my miscarriages were truly devastating and I carry that pain with me every day. Wouldn't everyone feel that way? It doesn't mean that we stop having fun we have a wonderful life and we work through our struggles just like everyone else.
So i've been thinking as I have given everything else a try as far as I can on my own and as my Dr seems to be pretty unhelpful right now im going to JUST RELAX! When I say that I mean im not going to Chart or use OPKs at least for a couple of cycles. The most I will do mainly because I can't not is listen to my body after almost 16 months of TTC I know the signs so maybe i'll make use of that but that's it! If im not pregnant after 2 or 3 cycles then I might give my Clear Blue Fertility Monitor a try I bought it on my BFP cycle (before I knew I was pregnant!) so I haven't had a chance to use it yet. Although I still insist that just because I have or will be using aids to help me get pregnant does not mean im stressing about it! I just want my baby! Lets just see how this goes you never know!!
i HATE when people say just relax. I agree that charting/temping/using opks helps if anything. My BFP cycle I didn't temp until after I knew I O'd (I did give in and use an opk bc I knew it was going to be positive from CM)
ReplyDeleteGood luck girl <3
I hate it too! I agree that those things do help! My dr rolled his eyes when I said I used them along with the clomid. He was like you could have taken a break from that since you were on the meds! It frustrated me because I really had no idea when I was going to O being on the meds so I felt I had to! Anyway... done with my rant. Good luck hon! I am praying for you!!!
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with everything!! With that being said, on my BFP cycle I wasn't Oing, and wasn't Oing, and thought I had O'd, but hadnt.....so I just said SCREW IT! and we just had hot sex, not worrying about the things that we were "supposed" to do. and lo and behold, I O'd the next day....and the rest is history!!
ReplyDeleteSo while I hate hate hate that advice, I have to wonder as well if there is any truth to it?? I honestly don't know. My MIL tried for 9 years to have my DH, and he was conceived between fertility treatments on a vacation.
I completely support you, and hope that not charting/temping works out!! Always praying for the best for you :)
Thanks girls! It certainly can't hurt to give ita try! <3
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