I was reading through my blog from the beginning the other day. I have read it all once or twice but there are some parts I find a little difficult to read mainly because a lot of the emotions are still very raw for me but at the same time it reminds me of the journey we have been on and it makes me feel so thankful to be where I am now. One of my first posts was titled Sad on Christmas Eve I remember writing that and how I felt at the time I also remember feeling much better for having written it and putting those feelings out there sort of like a release for me this blog in some ways has been a emotional crutch to get me through some of the hard times and im thankful for that, having said that I never really saw myself as a blogger im kinda lazy when it comes to things like this and don't tend to bother I think it shows the times I need to blog the most as oppose to the times when i've not needed to so much the blog posts are definately further apart! But I did start this blog for other reasons not just an emotional vent I want to document my experiences of pregnancy and soon to be motherhood so I want to try and keep as up to date as I can.
Im happy to say that a year on from writing that post im so much happier and only 2 weeks away from becoming a mother! It has been a bitter sweet year that began at one of the most lowest points of my life but now we are about to begin 2012 with a bang and the birth of our little miracle I can hardly believe it! I don't forget what it took for us to get here though or that there are so many out there still praying for their miracle. I hope that it can happen for them too it is truly the most amazing blessing.
Wednesday, 28 December 2011
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
We Have A Date!
I had an appointment with a physio yesterday and my OB this morning. The Physio found that I have Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) and a slightly twisted right hip this explains all the pain I have been experiencing. She said if i'd had an earlier appointment a few weeks ago they may have been able to do more to help but at this late stage all they could really do is help manage the pain with some gentle exercises and a support belt and to make sure I get plenty of rest. She pointed out the best positions for me to give birth in would be on all fours or standing leaning over the bed these are both extremely difficult for me to do so this did pose a problem. Luckily I had my appointment with my OB this morning so we could discuss a plan of action for the birth and with all things considered we decided that a planned C-Section would be the safest option. I have to admit the thought of a C-Section terrifies me I guess it's the fear of the unknown more than anything and the recovery afterwards I want to feel as well as possible so that I can take care of my baby I know that I'm not going to feel great after surgery I just have to hope that I recover quickly. Overall though I'm ok with it being a C-Section delivery I feel confident that it is the right decision and if more damage is done to my hips during the birth then that would result in months of recovery rather than a few weeks so i'd rather take that option.
So when is the big day? It will be on 12/1/12!! How exciting I can hardly believe that will be my baby's Birthday the day I become a Mother! It's such a wonderful , exciting and terrifying feeling but I guess I am as ready as I'm ever going to be!
So when is the big day? It will be on 12/1/12!! How exciting I can hardly believe that will be my baby's Birthday the day I become a Mother! It's such a wonderful , exciting and terrifying feeling but I guess I am as ready as I'm ever going to be!
Monday, 12 December 2011
Third Trimester
Sorry it has taken so long for me to update i've either been super busy, sick or just plain exhausted! I have learnt that baking a baby is HARD lol! Don't get me wrong it is wonderful and amazing but exhausting at the same time. Im well into my third tri now I will be 35 weeks on Thursday I still can't believe im even pregnant never mind 5 weeks away from having a baby!! I have found the last few weeks very tiring im in a lot of pain with my hips which is making day to day activities difficult which is inconvieniant as I have so much to do! Thank God for husbands is all I can say lol! I have an appointment with an Obstetric Physio this afternoon to see what's going on with my hips. My midwife thinks i may have a trapped nerve and have hip displacement! I was like whaaaat?! Honestly im not sure if that is what it is im thinking my body is just struggling to cope with the extra weight and it's taking it's toll whatever it is im just hoping they can help with the pain so i can get around a little easier. If not I guess i'll just have to put my feet up and relax oh well LOL! Too be honest i can't complain I think I have done well to get this far I knew the last tri would be difficult on my mobility.
Baby girl is so strong now I love feeling her move and I finally know what everyone talks about when they say "oh wait until you feel her feet in your ribs" ummmm yeah I get what thats like now pretty uncomfortable but I still love it! Im pretty sure I have a lazy baby though I do feel movement but not that much. I was a little concerned but my midwife said as long as i feel 10 movements in a day that's fine and i do get that so im thinking she's just sleepy! Of course im sure she's just conserving her energy so that she can keep us mega busy when she arrives LOL!
We are still struggling with names we have a list of names we like and im sure she will be one of them but which one I have no idea!!! We have decided to wait till she is here and see what she looks like! I wish she would just come out with a name badge I find it so hard to commit to a name LOL.
Her nursery furniture arrived last week along with her pram and carseat etc. I LOVE it and im so in love with the nursery theme the colours are perfect. It feels strange all of her things being here but in a good way. I can't wait for her to be here and can't believe that day is nearly here! It's a mixture of emotions im so happy and excited and yet terrified at the same time i've wanted this more than i've ever wanted anything in my whole life being a mom is everything to me and yet im starting to panic and think what if I don't live up to the mark what if this what if that?? I have to keep having a reality check and reminding myself that everyone feels like this but wow im going to be a mom in just a few weeks and it's the most exciting and scary thing ever to happen to me!
Baby girl is so strong now I love feeling her move and I finally know what everyone talks about when they say "oh wait until you feel her feet in your ribs" ummmm yeah I get what thats like now pretty uncomfortable but I still love it! Im pretty sure I have a lazy baby though I do feel movement but not that much. I was a little concerned but my midwife said as long as i feel 10 movements in a day that's fine and i do get that so im thinking she's just sleepy! Of course im sure she's just conserving her energy so that she can keep us mega busy when she arrives LOL!
We are still struggling with names we have a list of names we like and im sure she will be one of them but which one I have no idea!!! We have decided to wait till she is here and see what she looks like! I wish she would just come out with a name badge I find it so hard to commit to a name LOL.
Her nursery furniture arrived last week along with her pram and carseat etc. I LOVE it and im so in love with the nursery theme the colours are perfect. It feels strange all of her things being here but in a good way. I can't wait for her to be here and can't believe that day is nearly here! It's a mixture of emotions im so happy and excited and yet terrified at the same time i've wanted this more than i've ever wanted anything in my whole life being a mom is everything to me and yet im starting to panic and think what if I don't live up to the mark what if this what if that?? I have to keep having a reality check and reminding myself that everyone feels like this but wow im going to be a mom in just a few weeks and it's the most exciting and scary thing ever to happen to me!
Thursday, 3 November 2011
It's a........
GIRL!!!!! We had our 4d scan on Saturday and we finally got gender confirmation! We are so excited looks like the Dr was right on her assumption afterall and maybe I really do have a little bit of that mamas intuintion I keep hearing about! I have had this gut feeling that we were having a girl from day one but as most of my friends had recently had girls also I couldn't help but think that was why I thought I was having a girl and I also thought that I was so sure it was a girl that it would be a boy im never usually right on this kind of thing haha. I love that my gut feeling was right it makes me feel so connected to her if that makes sense?! We couldn't be happier it feels so good to finally know what we are having and needless to say we went out and bought her a whole wardrobe of pretty girlie clothes the same day, that was FUN!!! Of course now im a little nervous that they may have made a mistake and we will have a very PINK boy LOL!
The scan itself was AMAZING! It was one of the most wonderful days I have had in this pregnancy it hasn't been an easy road with lots of bumps and plenty of worries along the way but Saturday was just wonderful! I can't describe the feeling I had the moment we got to see our little girls face I love her so much already I can't wait to hold her in my arms! The sonographer did a growth report and so far she is right on target and at 28 weeks and 2 days her estimated weight was 2lbs and 11ozs. We got lots of pictures and a dvd of the whole thing I watched the dvd probably 10 times already LOL im sure it's very boring to everyone else but to us that's our tiny miracle and I can't get enough of it!
In other news the nausea is back with a vegence ugh :( as is the crazy preggo hunger (not sure if that ever went) not a great combo to be hungry and sick at the same time! Im also pretty exhausted but this is all so worth it and I couldn't be happier than I am right now! :o)
The scan itself was AMAZING! It was one of the most wonderful days I have had in this pregnancy it hasn't been an easy road with lots of bumps and plenty of worries along the way but Saturday was just wonderful! I can't describe the feeling I had the moment we got to see our little girls face I love her so much already I can't wait to hold her in my arms! The sonographer did a growth report and so far she is right on target and at 28 weeks and 2 days her estimated weight was 2lbs and 11ozs. We got lots of pictures and a dvd of the whole thing I watched the dvd probably 10 times already LOL im sure it's very boring to everyone else but to us that's our tiny miracle and I can't get enough of it!
In other news the nausea is back with a vegence ugh :( as is the crazy preggo hunger (not sure if that ever went) not a great combo to be hungry and sick at the same time! Im also pretty exhausted but this is all so worth it and I couldn't be happier than I am right now! :o)
Sunday, 9 October 2011
25 Weeks
Wow how can I be here already? I only have 15 weeks left until my baby enters our lives! That's not a long time to wait at all especially as we still have things to get and a nursery to complete although all the hard work is done in there now and it's just a case of the finishing touches. I can't wait till the furniture arrives and it can actually look like a nursery and not just a storage room! There is so much going on from now right up until the birth I feel like we will be there in no time at all!
On Saturday Oct 29th we have our 4d scan booked im so excited about this! We will actually get to see our baby's little face I can't wait! Oh and of course if baby is willing to cooperate we will finally have gender confirmation!!! The wait has been killing me I have no idea how some people choose to wait to find out im dying to know and desperate to go on a pink or blue shopping spree!! Fingers crossed that Oct 29th is the day!
Overall i'd say im feeling pretty good I do have some good days and bad days my back does ache from time to time and im always tired but im use to aches and pains and being pregnant I totally expect them so i'd say im doing pretty well. My last midwife appointment went well and everything is going as it should be that's such a wonderful thing to hear! I have noticed my ankles swelling up over the past 5 weeks I always thought that would come later on but apparently not. As long as I raise them they seem to go down again so not causing too many problems right now apart from being a little uncomfortable.
I had an appointment with an Anethetist last week to discuss birthing options, pain reilief and what would be possible or not. It went well and has made me feel at ease with everything as I was starting to get nervous about it! I have a choice of an elected C-Section or attempting a natural birth with the help of an Epidural! She said the in my case if I opt for the natural birth an epidural is a necessity as they would need to have me ready for a C-Section at anytime and as the Arthrogryposis affects my jaw and mouth they wouldn't be able to put me under a General Anesthetic in a emergengcy situation. I never really considered that would be an issue as I've had a lot of surgery and been put under anesthetic many times and it's never been an issue but appaerntly when you are pregnant they do things a little differently and rather than just assist my breathing they take it over completely and this is where the problem is. So I have a big decision to make and I have never been so split with it! I've always wanted to have a natural birth and I can still try that and knowing that I will be on an epidural from the beginning makes me feel more relaxed about it. But on the other hand there are a lot of complications with that option and if it were to end up in a C-Section i'd much rather that be a planned and controlled situation I just want what is safer for me and my baby. So what do I do?? I am visiting the Delivery Suite next week so that I can try different positions etc and see what could work for me and what wont. I think in doing this it will help me come to a decision in what we are going to do.
On Saturday Oct 29th we have our 4d scan booked im so excited about this! We will actually get to see our baby's little face I can't wait! Oh and of course if baby is willing to cooperate we will finally have gender confirmation!!! The wait has been killing me I have no idea how some people choose to wait to find out im dying to know and desperate to go on a pink or blue shopping spree!! Fingers crossed that Oct 29th is the day!
Overall i'd say im feeling pretty good I do have some good days and bad days my back does ache from time to time and im always tired but im use to aches and pains and being pregnant I totally expect them so i'd say im doing pretty well. My last midwife appointment went well and everything is going as it should be that's such a wonderful thing to hear! I have noticed my ankles swelling up over the past 5 weeks I always thought that would come later on but apparently not. As long as I raise them they seem to go down again so not causing too many problems right now apart from being a little uncomfortable.
I had an appointment with an Anethetist last week to discuss birthing options, pain reilief and what would be possible or not. It went well and has made me feel at ease with everything as I was starting to get nervous about it! I have a choice of an elected C-Section or attempting a natural birth with the help of an Epidural! She said the in my case if I opt for the natural birth an epidural is a necessity as they would need to have me ready for a C-Section at anytime and as the Arthrogryposis affects my jaw and mouth they wouldn't be able to put me under a General Anesthetic in a emergengcy situation. I never really considered that would be an issue as I've had a lot of surgery and been put under anesthetic many times and it's never been an issue but appaerntly when you are pregnant they do things a little differently and rather than just assist my breathing they take it over completely and this is where the problem is. So I have a big decision to make and I have never been so split with it! I've always wanted to have a natural birth and I can still try that and knowing that I will be on an epidural from the beginning makes me feel more relaxed about it. But on the other hand there are a lot of complications with that option and if it were to end up in a C-Section i'd much rather that be a planned and controlled situation I just want what is safer for me and my baby. So what do I do?? I am visiting the Delivery Suite next week so that I can try different positions etc and see what could work for me and what wont. I think in doing this it will help me come to a decision in what we are going to do.
Monday, 26 September 2011
A Sad Week
This last week has been a sad week for me and so many others. It began by being sad for me as September 19th was the due date for my Angel. I wasn't sure how I would feel we are in a happy place now and that does help but it doesn't mean that we foget the little ones we lost before. I was pretty emotional that day and cried about losing my little one for the first time in ages. I think of them often but the tears don't come so often now it helps that we have this little one on the way it gives us a reason to move forward. I don't want to forget I never will we have loved our baby since before we were expecting them and we love all our little ones regardless of wether they are here with us or waiting for us in heaven. This due date was easier than the last I had just miscarried for the second time and I can't even describe the pain I felt that day I never want to feel that way again.
This last week has been sad for another reason too one of the girls in our DDC (due date club) just lost her sweet baby. She was due only 2 days before me I can't imagine how she must be feeling now and my heart goes out to her and her family. This and remembering my lost Angels really brings it home just how incredibly lucky and blessed we are to be expecting this little miracle and to never stop giving thanks for what we have been blessed with. Just when you begin to feel "safe" and believe me that was a big step to feel "safe" in a pregnancy I suddenly realise there is no such thing! Anything can happen at any time and we must never take that for granted. Sweet Baby J we love you so very much and I enjoy every moment I feel you and all the good and not so good things about being pregnant I enjoy every moment because I know just how blessed we are to have you. So im calling out to anyone whose reading this to go hug your children tell them how much you love them and enjoy every moment of pregnancy the good and the not so great parts (we all know what they are)! Because it's worth it all to be blessed with a miracle.
This last week has been sad for another reason too one of the girls in our DDC (due date club) just lost her sweet baby. She was due only 2 days before me I can't imagine how she must be feeling now and my heart goes out to her and her family. This and remembering my lost Angels really brings it home just how incredibly lucky and blessed we are to be expecting this little miracle and to never stop giving thanks for what we have been blessed with. Just when you begin to feel "safe" and believe me that was a big step to feel "safe" in a pregnancy I suddenly realise there is no such thing! Anything can happen at any time and we must never take that for granted. Sweet Baby J we love you so very much and I enjoy every moment I feel you and all the good and not so good things about being pregnant I enjoy every moment because I know just how blessed we are to have you. So im calling out to anyone whose reading this to go hug your children tell them how much you love them and enjoy every moment of pregnancy the good and the not so great parts (we all know what they are)! Because it's worth it all to be blessed with a miracle.
Saturday, 10 September 2011
Halfway there!
It's about time I updated! Im happy to say that so far my second trimester has been pretty uneventful (in a good way) and im happy to keep things like that lol! Overall im feeling much better only feeling sick if im hungry and sometimes at night but I can totally deal with that. I still get pretty tired but then i've always felt tired even before pregnancy im just like that I guess so nothing new there haha. I feel movements from my not so little baby bean daily and I love it although it's still so hard to connect that those movements are coming from a baby im not sure i'll ever believe it until Baby J arrives!!
I had my 20 week scan on Wednesday I was exactly 20 weeks and 6 days it felt like an eternity waiting for that day to come! I was so nervous and yet so excited at the same time! I had a detailed scan that was done by 2 Drs they were looking for signs of Arthrogryposis and any other problems that may be visable on a scan I was pretty nervous about the results but im happy to say that Baby J is growing well and is healthy! The Dr even used words like beautiful and perfect needless to say this was music to my ears!! I LOVE my OB by the way she is awesome! Im usually pretty nervous around Drs but she makes me feel so at ease im so glad that she is my Dr through this journey! After they had calmed my nerves and explained that everything is looking good I began to relax and really enjoy the scan I had a whole 30 minutes of watching my baby do everything from sleep to somersault it was amazing! Baby even gave us a little wave soooo cute!
Now for the BIG question are we on team BLUE or PINK??? Well we honestly don't know for sure! I was so excited to find out I just knew baby would be shy on the day!! Both Drs tried really hard to get a good view and based on what they saw they both agreed on a little GIRL! But didn't want to give a definite answer as the view wasn't clear little one just wasn't in the mood to flash lol! Either way it doesn't matter to us boy or girl we love them so much already!! I have a 4d scan booked for Oct 29th so we are hoping for gender confirmation then the waiting is soooo hard! I may end up being team green without meaning to be haha. At least we will know for sure in January!!
I do have a new scan picture to upload but I haven't scanned it in yet I will do that soon and I have a very obvious bump now YAY! So I will post pics next time! :)
I had my 20 week scan on Wednesday I was exactly 20 weeks and 6 days it felt like an eternity waiting for that day to come! I was so nervous and yet so excited at the same time! I had a detailed scan that was done by 2 Drs they were looking for signs of Arthrogryposis and any other problems that may be visable on a scan I was pretty nervous about the results but im happy to say that Baby J is growing well and is healthy! The Dr even used words like beautiful and perfect needless to say this was music to my ears!! I LOVE my OB by the way she is awesome! Im usually pretty nervous around Drs but she makes me feel so at ease im so glad that she is my Dr through this journey! After they had calmed my nerves and explained that everything is looking good I began to relax and really enjoy the scan I had a whole 30 minutes of watching my baby do everything from sleep to somersault it was amazing! Baby even gave us a little wave soooo cute!
Now for the BIG question are we on team BLUE or PINK??? Well we honestly don't know for sure! I was so excited to find out I just knew baby would be shy on the day!! Both Drs tried really hard to get a good view and based on what they saw they both agreed on a little GIRL! But didn't want to give a definite answer as the view wasn't clear little one just wasn't in the mood to flash lol! Either way it doesn't matter to us boy or girl we love them so much already!! I have a 4d scan booked for Oct 29th so we are hoping for gender confirmation then the waiting is soooo hard! I may end up being team green without meaning to be haha. At least we will know for sure in January!!
I do have a new scan picture to upload but I haven't scanned it in yet I will do that soon and I have a very obvious bump now YAY! So I will post pics next time! :)
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